Try something this week: ask yourself, "What am I really looking for."
Ask yourself this question about everything—when you have that sinking feeling that today is just like yesterday but with a different date; when you're in a room full of people and you still feel alone; when your calendar is so full that you're doing everything you dread but have no room for anything you enjoy; when you've already used up every last drop of energy and brainpower as you pull into the garage before all of the children's activities begin; when you're hiding out in your house thinking "my neighbors are weird."
This question can take you straight to answers you've been wanting for years. Proverbs 27:19 says, "As water reflects the face, so a man's heart reflects the man." An insightful professor once explained it to me like this: "Be gently curious about yourself. When something hurts you, wonder why it hurt you. When you dread something, wonder why you dread it."
What many of us are really looking for is relationships that matter . . . community . . . a circle of people to be part of. But we believe lies:
"If I keep going through the motions, I'll eventually find something that matters in my life."
"If I just surround myself with people, I won't feel all alone."
"My calendar is so full I can't make time to meet a friend who needs to talk."
"If I just get that promotion, I'll feel valued and then I won't have to exhaust myself working so hard."
"I don't want to know too much about my neighbors. That could be trouble and this is where I live."
These are all lies we believe. They keep us from what we are really looking for: a circle of influence, a sense of belonging. We can only find those things in real relationships—real
.Ecclesiates 4:9-12 says "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
So now what? Try something new this week. Ask yourself what you're really looking for, especially about the things that are always on your mind. You might find yourself with answers to questions that have always nagged at you.